Vicky Aldous reflects on the upcoming holidays and the custom of asking for forgiveness.
By VICKIE ALDOUS/ MAIL TRIBUNEUpdated: SEPTEMBER 3, 2018 12:22
TNS- In Judaism, it’s not enough to ask God for forgiveness of sins.Instead, people who have wronged others are encouraged to analyze their hurtful behavior, adopt a repentant attitude and ask those they’ve harmed to forgive them.“If I’ve hurt someone’s feelings I must go to that person and say to them, ‘I ask for your forgiveness,’” says Rabbi David Zaslow of Ashland, Oregon. “I can’t come to the synagogue and say, ‘Dear Lord, I really blew it with so-and-so. Please forgive me.’ God says, ‘Fine, but go to that person, not to me.’ So I think it’s a profound, beautiful thing in terms of Jewish religion that there is no forgiveness for a sin against another human being unless you obtain that forgiveness from that other person.”As they prepare for the upcoming High Holy Days — which include Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur in September — Jewish people will contemplate the wrongs they’ve committed and make plans to seek forgiveness.“The High Holidays are a cleansing agent. Another metaphor is that it’s a reset button,” Zaslow explains.Saying sorry is difficult for most people, but Zaslow says that’s natural.“The Hebrew word asham gives us our word shame. If I feel guilty, I biologically want to run. I want to hide myself. In Judaism, we believe that God has planted within us the ability to overcome that shame. It is hard to say you’re sorry. It’s supposed to be hard. That’s what makes it worthwhile,” he says.Facing and overcoming those instincts to hide gives us the opportunity to become better people, Zaslow says.“There’s nothing wrong with saying, ‘I’m sorry.’ It makes you a better person to be able to say, ‘I’m sorry.’ That’s why John McCain [the Arizona senator who died of cancer last week], not to make this political, is getting so much respect because he knew how to say he was sorry. He made mistakes along the way in his life. For a politician to be able to say you’re sorry is courageous, but the reality is it’s courageous for all of us,” Zaslow says.A wide variety of religions, including Judaism, Christianity, Islam and Hinduism, have traditions in which people are asked to face up to their sins, repent and seek forgiveness, he noted.