Doug Emhoff navigates dual empathy in Israeli-Palestinian tragedy

Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff discusses his Jewish identity, the impact of October 7, and his relationship with VP Harris in a candid interview about faith and public service.

DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL nominee and US Vice President Kamala Harris, together with Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff, plant a tree to mark the first anniversary of the October 7 Hamas attacks on Israel, in Washington. (photo credit: Nathan Howard/Reuters)
DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL nominee and US Vice President Kamala Harris, together with Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff, plant a tree to mark the first anniversary of the October 7 Hamas attacks on Israel, in Washington.
(photo credit: Nathan Howard/Reuters)

Second Gentleman Dough Emhoff described one of the greatest moments in his relationship with Vice President Kamala Harris, which was how easily she understood who he was as a Jew. 

"She understood who I was. I understood who she was," Emhoff said during his appearance on "Uncomfortable Conversations with Emmanuel Acho."

Acho is the co-author of this year's New York Times bestseller "Uncomfortable Conversations With a Jew" with activist Noa Tishby.

Emhoff noted how Harris had pushed him to speak out against antisemitism and hate and to "try to make those connections between all the different coalitions and all the different communities," which he said he'd felt the weight of as a Jew post-October 7

"And being in this position, I’m highly accountable to the community," Emhoff said. "So again, with [Harris's] pushing for me to get out there, even when it's hard. When I don't want to do it, to go ahead and do it and have those hard conversations."

 US SECOND GENTLEMAN Doug Emhoff lights Hanukkah candles at a reception at the White House, last December. (credit: Elizabeth Franz/Reuters)
US SECOND GENTLEMAN Doug Emhoff lights Hanukkah candles at a reception at the White House, last December. (credit: Elizabeth Franz/Reuters)

Emhoff described the "rawness and trauma" that remains in the Jewish community post-October 7. 

"The fact that people were murdered, dismembered, raped, left on the side of roads, hunted down. These were kids at a music festival," he said. "These were, you know, grandmothers, and moms. These are grandfathers, people just living their lives who were just brutally murdered in cold blood in a way that Jews haven't seen since the Holocaust."

He also acknowledged denialism about the events of October 7.  

"There's distrust, disbelief," Emhoff said. "So that is all true."

But Emhoff said what also is true is the loss of life of Palestinians, "which is horrific."

"And so, as a Jewish person, I'm able to say both things at the same time, and it doesn't have anything to do with the policy in Israel," Emhoff said. "And I think that's where this conversation gets mixed up a little bit, where, you know, several of these things can all be true at the same time."


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When asked the last time he cried, Emhoff said it was when he and his family hung a mezuzah on the Vice President's residence. 

The mezuzah itself came from an Atlanta synagogue where Martin Luther King Jr. had preached, a nod to Harris and her family's activism in the Civil Rights Movement.  

Emhoff noted that Harris wanted to make sure there was a mezuzah on the residence. 

But it was his father's tearful reaction that struck him. 

"My father is a man of few words and doesn’t exactly show his emotion all the time," Emhoff said. "To see him get teary, watching his son, me, hammer the Mezuzah into his daughter-in-law, who happens to be the Vice President of the United States, our home. It was intense."

Emhoff further explained his father's reaction. 

"I just think he’s a Jew in his mid-80s — he’s born in 1937. His family came from Europe in 1900, half of which died in the Holocaust," he said. "So, to see the journey of a Jewish kid — himself — and being the father of this Jewish kid, who is now the Second Gentleman hammering a mezuzah into the Vice President’s residence, I mean, that’s the American dream.

Later in the interview, Acho asked Emhoff if, as a Jew, he feels epigenetic fear for his safety "based upon the trials and tribulations of your ancestors which has led you to here."

Emhoff said he has always tried to live "proudly and openly and joyfully and not be afraid," but a lot of what Jews felt after October 7 is because of the Holocaust. 

"There's always that feeling. And it's traumatizing. It really is," Emhoff said. "But again, I want to just make sure whatever is happening, people still need to find what you love about being Jewish. And we wanted people to learn about it, demystify it, and again, to tone down the hate and the antisemitism."