Summer vacation is in full swing, and with it comes a variety of unique challenges. While children embrace the break with joy and enthusiasm, for us parents, this is an especially challenging time. We are now nine months into a war, and many families are grappling with dramatic changes in routine, significant worries, and a complex security situation. The long, hot days, the need to find enjoyable activities within a reasonable budget, and the social pressure to "do something" during the break certainly do not ease the general tension. The kids have finished their regular programs, started summer camps, routines have changed, and homes are buzzing.
However, with a bit of planning and some practical strategies, it is possible to turn this summer into a pleasant family experience. You can get through this period and maintain a pleasant atmosphere at home, even when temperatures rise and patience wanes.
Practice Speaking in a Low and Calm Tone, Even in a Noisy Environment: When tension rises, our natural tendency is to raise our voice, shout, and get caught up in the storm ourselves. It may feel like controlling the situation, but it actually indicates a lack of control. Surprisingly, lowering the volume of your voice can give you more control over the situation. A low and quiet voice immediately reduces tension and may even surprise the children, making them more likely to listen.
In Stressful and Stormy Situations, Less is More: We want to educate, teach, explain, and solve, but the truth is that during turbulent times, when children are overwhelmed, frustrated, and angry, they are not receptive to new information. Instead of long speeches, focus on short sentences and clear messages. For example: "I understand you are angry. Let's find a solution together. I am here for you..." A focused message will help the child organize and process the information more easily.
Creating Positive Alternatives: When children argue and tensions rise, instead of focusing on what not to do, offer positive and calming joint activities. Positive distraction can break the loop and create an opportunity for connection and cooperation. For example: "Instead of fighting, how about we draw together? I have an idea for a funny family drawing..."
Humor is the Secret Ingredient to Calming the Atmosphere: Shared laughter not only immediately reduces tension but also strengthens family bonds and creates pleasant memories. When the situation starts to heat up, try introducing a humorous element. It can be jokes, puns, funny imitations, or funny face contests. You will be surprised how sometimes a funny and familiar remark can break the tension and change the atmosphere.
Touch, Touch, Touch: Touch has magic. It helps calm, reminds us we are not alone, increases intimacy, and creates connection and security. For example, a hug of 20 seconds or more encourages the release of the hormone oxytocin, which helps reduce stress and anxiety. Gentle touch, cuddling, and stroking are gifts for both sides. It is important to remember that each child has different preferences. Some children need a strong hug to calm down, while others prefer light touch or hand-holding. Listen to them, show curiosity, ask, and respect them.
Changing Places Changes Luck: Sometimes, all that is needed is a small change in the environment. Go for a short walk in the neighborhood, move to another room in the house, or go out to the balcony. Changing the environment can break the loop, allow physical movement that releases tension, expose new stimuli, and create a separation from the emotional storm. "Let's go for a short walk outside. Let's see if we can find interesting flowers along the way..."
Breathe: It sounds simple, but most of us forget that deep breaths can really help us calm down in stressful situations. Learn simple breathing techniques together with the children. "Let's imagine our belly is a balloon - it inflates when we breathe in and deflates when we breathe out..."
Take Care of Yourself - Being a Parent is Hard: Calm and balanced parents can better cope with parenting challenges. Take time for yourself to relax and recharge. Everyone knows what is good for them and calms them, whether it's meeting friends, going for a walk, reading a book, or watching a TV show. Rely on friends with children, family members, establish a "parent on duty rotation," and if possible, try to divide the vacation days between you so that each parent gets personal time to recharge.
Talk About What Hurts: Make sure to hold family conversations appropriate to the age about what you feel, the challenges, and the situation in the country. Give the children space to express their fears and share your coping strategies with them. We are going through a difficult period that is prolonged and takes a mental toll on us. Even if it seems the children do not understand, and even if we want to shield them from the information, they live with us and feel us.
In conclusion, flexibility, choosing our responses, mutual understanding, and open communication are the keys to making this summer a positive experience for the whole family, even in this challenging time. With a bit of creativity and a lot of patience, you can enjoy the summer vacation. Remember, every small step towards calm positively impacts the atmosphere at home and your children's development. With persistence and practice, you can improve. It is not always easy, but the results are worth the effort.
Jama App was created to provide a solution for mothers of babies from birth to three years old, gathering content, activities, expert tips, and videos to accompany them through this challenging period. All content in the app "grows" with the baby and is precisely tailored to their developmental stages, so mothers receive only what is relevant and interesting to them at any given moment.
Jama App is the place for mothers in Israel to meet and get to know other mothers around them, creating new and exciting friendships on this fascinating journey.
Find us on Google: https://app.jama.co.il/
Dana Amar, in collaboration with JAMA