The murder of Rabbi Kogan in the UAE last week has had a ripple effect on Jewish communities around the world, and especially the Chabad community, Rabbi Simcha Scholar of Chai Lifeline told the Jerusalem Post on Tuesday.
Chai Lifeline is an international support network which provides social, emotional, and practical assistance to children, families, and communities impacted by medical crises and trauma.
One of its services is a 24 hour crisis helpline - the largest in the Jewish world - which provides emergency first response emotional help to people in need.
The Post spoke to Rabbi Scholar in the aftermath of the murder of Chabad emissary Rabbi Kogan.
On Sunday, Chai Lifeline organized a Zoom call for Chabad shluchim and their families around the world. 700 people attended.
Rabbi Dr David Fox, Director of Chai Lifeline’s Crisis and Trauma Service, spoke to those present, and signposted them to the help services available.
"Our job is to create a safety net for the community, providing them with resources," Rabbi Scholar told the Post.
"This type of service is essential for maintaining a normal life," he added, referencing how many of the Chabad shluchim live in isolated areas, without a Jewish community, and therefore require added support to be able to navigate challenging times.
He also commended the shluchim and their families for their "resilience, commitment and dedication to the mission."
"They are not the types to pack their bags and leave when things are hard, they are more of the mindset of 'give me the tools to stay'."
But regardless of their resilience, Rabbi Scholar stressed that it is important that they "recognize that they are human beings, that their feelings are real, that their concerns are real, that they can reach out to resources such as Chai Lifeline."
Talking to children about trauma
Rabbi Fox reminded the Zoom's participants of the importance of not pushing off issues, but recognizing that it's okay to have those fears, that their children might have questions, and to give them the tools to speak openly with their children on their level.
Rabbi Fox presented three key strategies for parents and caregivers when discussing trauma and tragedy with their children.
First is to listen without judgement, and validating children's feelings so they feel heard and supported.
Second is to share information that is accurate and age-appropriate. "While it's important to clarify the facts of the situation, Rabbi Fox urges parents to avoid overwhelming children with graphic imagery [and distressing content]."
And lastly, Rabbi Fox highlighted the importance of reassuring children, and reminding them of the Jewish values of kindness and resilience.
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One of the strengths of the Chai crisis team, Rabbi Scholar said, is that the volunteer responders come from many different Jewish communities, so there will always be someone who can approach those in need with understanding.
They have volunteers from Hasidic communities, secular communities, Chabad and Modern Orthodoxy, from different countries, and this means that those in need are often more "receptive when they go through trauma."
"We are here to heal and to help," said Rabbi Scholar.
Chai began their work with children with medical crises, such as cancer, and helping them and their families navigate health emergencies, and often bereavement.
Rabbi Fox decided to take the model and apply it to training emergency first responder practitioners in emotional crises, which is how the Lifeline was built.
As an example, following the October 7 massacre, the team had thousands of calls from the Anglo Jewish community in Israel who needed emergency emotional support.
If those accessing help are in need of longer term intervention, Chai is able to guide them to the right places.
Chai also has resources such as guides for confronting antisemitism on campus, guidebooks on how to talk to children during a crisis (for teachers and parents), how to face the aftermath of suicide, and how to respond to natural disasters.
Other resources can be found on their website https://blog.chailifeline.org/crisis-resources/
If you or anyone you know is in need of support, please contact Chai Lifeline’s 24-hour crisis helpline at 855-3-CRISIS or email crisis@chailifeline.org