New coronavirus restrictions wreak havoc with wedding plans
While some rushed to marry on Tuesday night, when 50 guests were still permitted, others are having a difficult time figuring out what to do.
By HANNAH BROWNOdiel Malchi and Shana Milstein on the day they got engaged in a hot air balloon in California(photo credit: Courtesy)
Wedding planning typically involves stress, but when you combine that with constantly shifting novel coronavirus regulations, it can turn into a nightmare.The sudden drop in the number of guests-allowed to 20, which was announced Monday, has sent couples scurrying to change their plans.While some rushed to marry on Tuesday night, when 50 guests were still permitted, others are having a difficult time figuring out what to do.When Odiel Malchi asked his fiancée, Shana Milstein, to marry him on a hot-air balloon in California three years ago, the US-born, Jerusalem-based couple anticipated that they would fly through their wedding planning smoothly.But they planned to hold the 250-plus event in Israel in March 2020, just as the government began restricting the numbers at gatherings, as well as making air travel difficult for family and friends from the US and England. They decided to postpone it until August 9, which seemed reasonable as the daily number of new infections dropped almost to zero.But what a difference a few weeks can make. With Monday’s announcement, they are cutting their guest list way down.“We’re trying to figure out a way to deal with it,” he said. Because they want a 90-year-old grandmother to attend, they will not postpone it again. “But everything is frustrating and has cost us a lot of money.” He suggested the government open a hotline with legal advice for couples trying to deal with venues, which are often uncooperative about refunding money and accommodating changes in plan, even when these changes are due to government decrees.Joshua Strahl’s family has been having similar struggles with his daughter’s wedding. The bride lives in Beit Shemesh and the groom is from Nahariya, and they were planning to have a wedding in Emek Hefer, roughly in between their homes, for 350 people, on March 16. The first wave of infections put an end to that plan, so they rescheduled for late July and are now trying to figure out what to do.“We’re trying to work with different options,” he said, noting that the original venue is refusing to host a scaled-down gathering.“This has been very emotionally trying for the whole family,” said Strahl. But he added, “I’m immensely proud of my daughter... She has a positive outlook and has been more flexible than I could imagine.”
Rabbi David Stav, one of the founders and the chairman of the Tzohar Rabbinic Organization, said he has been counseling many engaged couples recently.“They are going crazy. The uncertainty is torturing them,” he said, speaking just before officiating at a wedding Tuesday at Havat Allenby at Kibbutz Netzer Sereni. “Until 3 a.m. this morning, there were couples who didn’t know if their wedding was going to happen...So many couples don’t know what to do and they are very frustrated.”However, Stav said that he felt that the government’s decision to limit gatherings to 20 was correct. “I’ve officiated at dozens of weddings during this period and no one obeyed the social-distancing rules.” People seeing loved ones will rush to hug them, he said.“And how can you dance in a socially distant way? And how can you wear a mask while dancing?... The rules limiting guests are necessary.”His advice to couples is simple. “Marry as quickly as you can in a small ceremony, it doesn’t matter how small. And when all this is over, in a year, or whenever there is a vaccine, then invite your guests. But don’t put off the joy of marrying.”
