“Meshane makom, meshane mazal,” the Talmud teaches (“Change your place, change your luck”). Tzachi Haberman agrees. Having made aliyah in 2018, he was 33 and living in Tel Aviv when he decided, last summer, “to move to Jerusalem to look for a wife.” He settled into his new place on July 1, 2023, and a mere two months later he ran into Yifat Adler, 31.
When Tzachi saw Yifat in Jerusalem on that Friday morning, September 1, he immediately recognized her from their primary school years, being carpooled together to the Salanter Akiba Riverdale Academy (SAR) when they lived in Teaneck, New Jersey.
Over 20 years later, they coincided at a concert sponsored by BaBayit Jerusalem, a grassroots community founded six years ago by olim for olim in Jerusalem, aged 20 to 40.
Meeting at BaBayit
Tzachi arrived at the concert with his roommate, Dov, but spent most of the time focused on Yifat, one of the event’s organizers. Wondering how to start a conversation with her, he decided that a question is always a good opening line and chose to focus on their childhood connection.
“I didn’t remember him,” Yifat said.
“I wanted to talk more, but she was busy working the event,” said Tzachi. “I discussed strategy with Dov and finally got her attention on my third try.”
Tzachi invited Yifat to go for a walk on Shabbat, suggesting Jerusalem’s Mesila Park, a walking and bicycle path in their neighborhood. Once she had agreed, he offered to give her his phone number but she replied, “You take my number.”
“I really liked her and wanted to be with her as much as possible. Early on, I could see a future for us,” said Tzachi. They went out for about three weeks, “and then she broke up with me,” he said.
Yifat did not have time for a relationship at that point, she explained. “I am a goal-oriented person and needed time to study for a licensing exam in nutrition and finish some work for my master’s in public health from Tel Aviv University.” Tzachi already had a degree from Binghamton University School of Management.
When the war broke out on Oct. 7, Tzachi went into Gaza as a lone soldier.
Yifat’s exam was scheduled for October 17, an excuse that Tzachi used for texting her.
“Her test had been postponed; but from a bit of texting, I didn’t get the feeling that she was really interested [in me]. For me, that was strike two.”
In mid-December, Tzachi had a stroke of luck when another unit joined his in Gaza. One of the new soldiers, Natan, was married to Yifat’s sister. One thing led to another, and soon Yifat had heard about the meeting between Tzachi and Natan. On his next leave, Tzachi texted Yifat.
Yifat didn’t know how she felt about “this guy” and didn’t know what to do. “I finally said to him: ‘Let’s proceed slowly.’ I didn’t want him to think we were moving into a serious relationship.” But they were.
Much has been written about the impact of war on personal relationships. Michal Shane, a clinical psychologist in Tel Aviv, noted: “In my clinic, I see how the war has caused some young people to distance themselves from the opportunity to find a partner, while others become more active in seeking relationships.”
Tzachi said that when he moved to Israel, he had “dreamed about marrying a girl who had family in Israel because I didn’t.” Yifat’s sister had been the first in the family to make aliyah, in 2015. Yifat followed in 2017, and her parents joined their daughters in 2022.
On the Friday before Passover, in Fayge Park on Panim Meirot Street in Jerusalem, Tzachi put a ring on Yifat’s finger.
“My grandmother’s name was Faige,” said Yifat with a smile.
The couple are to marry on September 16 in Ness Ziona. Mazal tov!
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