Mirror, Mirror on the Mind: Reflecting Our World Through Self-Perception

  (photo credit: SHUTTERSTOCK)
(photo credit: SHUTTERSTOCK)
The Torah verses convey profound messages that we can insightfully extract for our daily lives. Rabbi Shay Tahan, the Rosh Kollel of Shaarei Ezra in Brooklyn, NY, graciously opens the gates to understand them.

When we want to describe someone as extremely unattractive, we often use the expression that they "look like a cow." A cow symbolizes physicality and clumsiness—large, lacking grace, drooling, and emitting an unpleasant odor. With this imagery in mind, we turn to the beginning of our parasha (Mikets), where Pharaoh dreams of standing by the Nile, and seven cows described as "beautiful in appearance" emerge from the river. This raises a perplexing question: how can cows be described as beautiful? One might argue that "beautiful" here refers to being fat and healthy. However, this cannot be the case, as the second description explicitly states that they were "healthy-looking and fat."

This question extends to the skinny cows: why are they considered ugly, and what makes fat cows appear better-looking? Furthermore, isn't it healthier and more appealing to be lean rather than fat? Rashiprovides a different perspective on the meaning of "beautiful looking." He explains that the description symbolizes a time of wealth, during which people perceive one another in a positive light. In times of prosperity, even the fat cows are seen as good-looking. Conversely, during times of famine, when people are hungry and unhappy, they view everything negatively. As a result, even the skinny cows—arguably better than the fat ones—are perceived as unattractive.

This idea is not only about our current state but also about our mindset and self-perception. It teaches us that the way we feel about ourselves shapes how we see the world around us. When we view ourselves negatively, we often project that negativity onto our surroundings.

This reminds me of a story about a man unhappy in his town who decided to search for a happier place to live. On his journey, he stopped a wise man and asked if the people in the next town were happy. The wise man replied, “Before I answer, tell me about the people in your town.” The man said they were sad, angry, and moody. The wise man responded, “You’ll find the people here are just the same.”

While they were speaking, another traveler approached the wise man with the same question about the town. The wise man again asked about the people in the traveler’s previous town. This traveler replied, “The people there are kind and caring.” The wise man smiled and said, “You’ll find the people here are also kind and caring.”

The first man, puzzled, asked why he had given two different answers. The wise man explained, “The way you perceive people in one place is how you’ll perceive them in any place. Moreover, the way you perceive yourself influences how you see others. If you feel good about yourself, you’ll see others in a positive light too.”

This article was written in cooperation with Shuva Israel