A wry Jewish joke goes like this: “Why do so many Jews play the fiddle?”
The answer is: ”Because it’s too hard to stuff a piano in a suitcase.”
The Jewish “flight” instinct is passed from down generation to generation. An example can be found in the case of my Talmud teacher who told me, only half-jokingly, that his parents sleep with their passport under the pillow, and a packed suitcase under the bed.
Not only do I have the instilled anxiety of being a Jew, I also know the fear of being a woman, constantly carrying with me images of the horrors of violence and abuse I see on social media and in the news.
America: The once-safe haven for liberal Jewish women is safe no more
Until recently, I had the privilege of a solid fallback, insurance for the ever-present worry that Israel could devolve to war. If things in Israel got too scary, I could take my American passport and relocate to “the land of the free.”
I had some reservations, but the United States remained a potential safe haven. In my early teens I became invested in reproductive health in America, and on my 16th birthday I donated to Planned Parenthood – meanwhile resting easy knowing that although imperfect, the Israeli system generally wouldn’t threaten me in case of an unwanted, or dangerous pregnancy. All my options were still on the table.
And then I turned 21, and in the US Roe v. Wade was rolled back – abortions quickly returning to their illicit past. In some states, a miscarriage could get me arrested.
I remember how crushed and scared I felt at, realizing that as a US citizen I do not have bodily autonomy, because as a woman, others (before they are even born, and therefore not yet citizens) take precedence over me.
Israel's war on women's rights and shunning of liberal Judaism
Israel has always walked the thin line between liberal democratic values and Jewish law. As a Liberal Jew, this has long represented my personal life. I grew up in a Conservative synagogue reflecting my family’s values of equality and liberalism. But I also grew up in an Orthodox environment, since most of my classmates were from Orthodox families, and my teachers didn’t necessarily accept my religious identity as legitimate.
At 11 years old I joined Women of the Wall for prayer services at the Western Wall led out loud by women. I remember well how I felt with ultra-Orthodox men blowing whistles to drown out voices, yelling, and screaming, and soldiers linking arms to separate us from the rest of the Jews praying that morning. I felt so angry.
Historically, Liberal Judaism has been shunned by Israel’s government which arrests women for carrying Jewish artifacts to the holiest Jewish site, lest they perform Jewish rituals reserved for men. Conversions performed by liberal Jewish streams are not recognized by the state and it is illegal to perform weddings that do not conform to Orthodox law.
And now, like a roller-coaster plunging off its rails, the Israeli parliament has been proposing bills that suit the current government of ultra-Orthodox and ultra-right-wing parties. Extreme religious and racist agendas have taken the reins.
As a woman, as a Liberal Jew, I am now scared.
The current government is waging a war on women’s rights. They are dismantling the Authority for the Advancement of the Status of Women, and diverting parliament discussions from the Committee on the Status of Women to a joint committee headed by an Orthodox man.
If I married in Israel and one day got divorced, I would have to go through the Beit Din (Rabbinical Court) where Orthodox men would control most aspects of the process, and my husband would have ultimate power over whether I would be granted a divorce.
Women must often must surrender fair division of property, custody rights, and sometimes child support, in exchange for the husband to give permission for the divorce.
Where can I go?
I can’t marry in Israel without damning myself to the decisions of the Orthodox rabbinate. I can’t flee to the US and fall under suspicion if my reproductive system does not align with my careful planning or intentions.
Where can I go?
I guess my last resort, the place where I have spent some freezing Saturday nights and some blistering summer days, is the streets. As my government continues to endanger my rights, I must speak up.
One day, I will remember how I feel. I will remember the fear of police violence, of water cannons used indiscriminately. I will remember the feeling of betrayal, of my elected officials who care more about advancing their own power and authority than they do about the nation’s well-being. I will remember the desperation, knowing that these changes are irreversible and that this is our last chance to prevent long-lasting damage to the State of Israel. I will remember my disappointment in the rampant corruption and lack of morals displayed by the politicians.
Hopefully, I will remember feeling proud – that I am taking a stand, that I am making my voice heard – at least until that is outlawed too.
The writer was born and raised in Israel and has always lived in Jerusalem. She was released from the army about a year ago, after serving two years in the International Branch of the IDF Spokesperson’s Unit. She is entering Hebrew University in October to study law.