Last week, I had the pleasure of speaking at Limmud Australia. During a session on internalized anti-Jewishness, after a remark where I condemned those referred to as Queers for Palestine, a group of LGBTQ+ Jews walked out in protest.
My comments were rooted in my belief that Queers for Palestine have absorbed the false leftist binary of seeing the world split between the oppressed and oppressor and standing with the seemingly oppressed, even if that means standing against their own interests (or against human rights, in general). I condemned them for abandoning LGBTQ+ Palestinians and for refusing to focus their ire on Hamas. I was not offended by those who walked out of my session; in truth, my eyesight is so poor that I didn’t even notice. I only realized it when an individual, presumably selected as the group’s spokesperson, came to tell me of this protest.
This protest was in contrast to an email sitting in my inbox, which contained testimonials from LGBTQ+ Jews who, because of queer antisemitism post-October 7, feel excluded from the LGBTQ+ community. Although this issue impacts a relatively small number of people within the Jewish community, it is deeply significant. As I have already stated, it represents the wider leftist binary of seeing the world as split into oppressed and oppressor. It is also making Zionist LGBTQ+ Jews, which is the vast majority, feel as if we are being driven out of the LGBTQ+ community. This is particularly painful for those of us who worked hard to become proud of our LGBTQ+ identities. From personal experience, I can tell you this was not an easy or painless journey. The adoption of the Palestinian cause by members of the LGBTQ+ community has felt like an act of betrayal and rejection.
Of course, it is not anti-gay or even anti-Jewish to support Palestinian civilians and their right to live peacefully. But that is not what parts of the LGBTQ+ community are campaigning for, at least from what I can see. They seem uninterested in advancing the conversation on Palestinian LGBTQ+ people. They seem to dismiss the fact that Hamas is the cause of all the pain since October 7 and that it poses a significant threat to the queers living under Palestinian rule. In short, their advocacy seems entirely disingenuous and solely rooted in advancing anti-Zionism, having nothing to do with protecting any of the Palestinians, whether LGBTQ+ or not.
Thankfully, not all members of the LGBTQ+ community feel this way, but as we have seen in the wider world, a small number are capable of shouting very loudly. But where does this leave proud Zionist LGBTQ+ Jews? To understand the situation beyond my limited perspective as one individual, I reached out to other British LGBTQ+ Jews to better understand how Queers for Palestine are making us feel more generally. To make their voices heard, I have chosen to present some of their testimonials in full. Each of us matters, and each of us deserves the right to share our experiences.
Michael
“Pride month serves to reinforce the values that should be jointly shared by the LGBTQ+ community. Those of inclusivity, love, tolerance and acceptance. These are values that now are no longer applied to LGBTQ+ Jews and Israelis. Since October the 7th, it feels like Jew-bashing and trolling is now the new trend. Both online, on social media platforms and online dating apps as well as in Queer spaces. Spaces that all talk about a zero tolerance of hate within their venue yet at present are only pushing one narrative and isolating Jews and Israelis further.
I no longer feel safe in these spaces and have found I no longer attend these venues, which include Adonis, Roast, the RVT, and Body Movements. I have experienced hate firsthand at two of these events. I am a proud Jew, and I wear my Magen David always. It was a gift from my sister, and it means the world to me to celebrate who I am as a proud Jew. On one occasion, a person approached me, looked at my necklace, and asked, “Are you a Jew?” to which my response was, “Yes I am.” He then responded, “Are you a Zionist Jew?” to which my response was, “Is there a difference?” He then shot me a death stare and walked off [and] told his group of friends, who then shot me the same dirty look.”
Dan
“Since the silence from the queer community on October 7, it became very clear to me how much the queer community has aligned itself with the Palestinians, against Israel.
“I haven’t felt safe in queer spaces at all since the Hamas terror attack. Just a few days after the attack, I was in a pub in South London where they were donating their tips to Gaza. Along with this, they had a poster up saying “from the river to sea.” I calmly explained what that meant and why it was offensive. The bar manager quickly became very angry at me for “accusing” her of antisemitism and refused to have an open discussion. She told me to have my drink but then I would have to leave. I responded by saying she was in no place to be telling a Jewish person what is and what isn’t antisemitism. Once she had then realized I was Jewish, my friend and I were forced to leave and not allowed to return.”
Ariel
“Since the October 7th massacre and war that broke out, I have been in a constant state of fear.
“What took me by surprise is how Queer places like Roast, Trough, and the RVT, as well as parties like Adonis in the UK, have been so explicit with their hateful narratives and exclusion of Jewish and Israeli LGBTQ+ individuals. The feeling of being ostracized and actually intimidated by the thought of encountering some members of my ‘community’ is sometimes overwhelming.”
MICHAEL, DAN, and Ariel share my sentiments. Personally, I am unsure if I will attend London Pride due to concerns about my safety as a visible Jew. This is an outrage. Our identities are being actively attacked and severed by racist elements within the LGBTQ+ community who seek to force us into a kind of dhimmitude in order to be accepted. Many of us feel that we are either being driven out of the LGBTQ+ community or being forced back into the closet. That is the horrific choice being presented to us. And as Michael remarked, “I feel if I got to any ‘Queer spaces’ now, I would have to remove my Magen David to stay safe, but then why, as an out gay man, do I need to hide my identity and go back into the closet yet again?”
The LGBTQ+ community preaches inclusivity, but as we have seen, these values do not seem to extend to Jews. If we live as our true, authentic selves, we are shamed and excluded. The irony, of course, is that this was often the experience of young LGBTQ+ people prior to their journey towards pride and self-acceptance. Now it is being inflicted on us as adults by elements within the LGBTQ+ community itself. Even dating apps, which we use to meet romantic or sexual partners, have become an unsafe place for LGBTQ+ Jews.As another interviewee, Josh, told me: “The lack of safety I feel in LGBTQ+ venues is echoed online, where I’ve had unsolicited hate on dating apps’ (Grindr, Tinder, Hinge) blank profiles sending watermelons and ‘Free Palestine’ etc.; people matching with me on Hinge only to throw comments about colonization, etc. my way. I came off dating apps in December and since rejoined to receive the same abuse, so I remain very inactive.”
LGBTQ+ Jews are a minority within two minorities, and yet, despite the size of our specific community, our experience matters. The treatment we have received from other members of the queer community is unacceptable. It is racist and stands in direct contradiction to the supposed ideals promoted by the LGBTQ+ community.
Michael, Dan, Ariel, Josh, and I – and countless others – are angry about how we have been treated by those with whom we are meant to share a kinship. But we will not be consumed by our anger, nor will we be cowed into silence. As the late Harvey Milk, the first gay person elected to public office in the United States, who also happened to be Jewish, said, “Burst down those closet doors once and for all, and stand up and start to fight.”
We will not take this rejection lying down. We will not be forced back into the closet. We will stand up for what is ours. We will embrace our duality. We will be proud of who we are. And we will not let a collective of racists make us, who have worked so hard to feel secure and confident in who we are, ashamed of ourselves.
We are Jewish. We are LGBTQ+. We are proud of who we are. And we will not be forced to choose between our identities.
We are here. We are Queer Jews. Get used to it.
The writer is the founder of the modern Jewish Pride movement, an educator, and the author of Jewish Pride: Rebuilding a People. His new book is Reclaiming Our Story: The Pursuit of Jewish Pride.