Hopefully this will be the first and last 'real' Tisha B'Av after October 7 - opinion

For the first time, I truly understood what it means to mourn for the destruction of the Temple, for the loss of our homeland, and for the countless lives that have been taken in the name of hatred.

 THE BOOK of Lamentations is read in a Tel Aviv synagogue at the beginning of Tisha B’Av on Monday night, with worshipers sitting on the floor as a sign of mourning. ‘This year, Tisha B’Av was unlike any other I have experienced,’ the writer laments.  (photo credit: TOMER NEUBERG/FLASH90)
THE BOOK of Lamentations is read in a Tel Aviv synagogue at the beginning of Tisha B’Av on Monday night, with worshipers sitting on the floor as a sign of mourning. ‘This year, Tisha B’Av was unlike any other I have experienced,’ the writer laments.
(photo credit: TOMER NEUBERG/FLASH90)

I am writing this immediately after Tisha B’Av. The saddest day in the Jewish calendar, a day when we commemorate every tragedy that has ever occurred to our People – and there have been many – too many.

I am physically exhausted and mentally drained because this year, Tisha B’Av was unlike any other I have experienced.

In previous years, I often found myself going through the motions, trying to imagine what it was like for the ancient Jews to be exiled from Jerusalem by the Babylonians in 586 BCE and then by the Romans in 70 CE. I struggled to relate to the expulsion from Spain, the massacres during the Crusades, and the numerous other tragedies that befell the Jewish people throughout history. My comfortable life in the UK, with little or no antisemitism and no existential threats, made it difficult to truly connect with the deep sense of mourning that Tisha B’Av demands. I was sitting comfortably, far removed from the horrors that our ancestors endured, and as a result, it was hard to get into the mood of mourning that this solemn day requires.

But this year was different. Since October 7th, everything has changed. I now understand, in a way I never did before, what it feels like to be surrounded by an implacable enemy bent on the destruction of my people and my land. The security and comfort I once took for granted have been shaken, replaced by a newfound awareness of the vulnerability that our people have faced time and time again throughout history.

This year, when I sat down to read the kinot (dirges) on Tisha B’Av, the words resonated with a raw intensity that I had never felt before. The descriptions of the horrors of torture, the massacres of men, women, and children, and the frenzied mobs running amok with a thirst for Jewish blood – these were no longer distant historical events, difficult to imagine from the safety of my comfortable life. They were suddenly and terrifyingly real.

 Kibbutz Nir Oz after the massacre (credit: Chaim Goldberg/Flash90)
Kibbutz Nir Oz after the massacre (credit: Chaim Goldberg/Flash90)

As I read about the suffering of our ancestors, I could no longer separate myself from their pain. The stories of the Crusades, where religious mobs rampaged through Jewish communities, killing, raping, and burning – these were no longer just words on a page. They were vivid, visceral images that mirrored the fear and horror that has gripped our people since October 7th. The collective trauma of the Jewish people throughout history felt like my trauma, too.

A day of connection and mourning 

This year, Tisha B’Av was my first “real” Tisha B’Av. For the first time, I truly understood what it means to mourn for the destruction of the Temple, for the loss of our homeland, and for the countless lives that have been taken in the name of hatred. The sense of vulnerability, of being surrounded by enemies who wish to see us destroyed, has become a reality that I can no longer ignore.

Yet, in this newfound understanding, there is also a sense of connection. I feel a deeper bond with my ancestors, who faced these same fears and hardships, and with my fellow Jews around the world, who are also grappling with this new reality. Tisha B’Av has taken on a new significance for me – it is no longer just a day of mourning for events long past, but a day to reflect on the ongoing struggle of the Jewish people to survive and thrive in the face of adversity.

This year, Tisha B’Av was a day of profound mourning, but also of profound connection. It was a reminder that, despite the many challenges we face, we are part of a long, unbroken chain of history. Our ancestors endured unimaginable suffering, yet they persevered, and so must we.

But there is a difference.


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Unlike times gone by, when the Jews were helpless and defenseless, Israel has every reason to be hopeful for victory. This hope is rooted in several key factors: the strength of its military, the unparalleled unity of its people in times of crisis, the deep-seated kindness within its society, and the enduring lessons of Jewish history. These elements, coupled with faith in divine assistance, illuminate a path not only toward survival but toward a thriving future where Israel continues to be a beacon of light to the nations.

The Israel Defense Forces (IDF) are among the most capable and resilient in the world. Decades of experience in defending against a wide range of threats have honed their skills and strategic capabilities. The IDF’s strength is not just in its advanced technology and well-trained personnel, but in the spirit of its soldiers – men and women who are deeply committed to the protection of their homeland. This commitment was vividly demonstrated at the outset of the current conflict when reservists from all walks of life responded with remarkable speed and resolve, ready to defend their country. This immediate and resolute response showcased the depth of the Israeli military’s readiness and the personal sacrifices that individuals are willing to make for the greater good.

Beyond the strength of its military, Israel’s greatest asset may be the unity of its people in times of need. The beginning of this conflict saw an extraordinary outpouring of solidarity across the nation. Citizens, regardless of their backgrounds or political affiliations, came together with a common purpose: to support one another and to ensure the safety and security of the state. This unity has manifested in countless ways, from volunteering to assist the displaced, to supporting the families of soldiers, to ensuring that the home front remains strong and adaptable to changing situations. In a society that is often characterized by its diversity of opinions and backgrounds, this unity in the face of adversity is nothing short of inspiring.

The widespread kindness displayed is a testament to the values that lie at the heart of Israeli society – values of mutual responsibility, generosity, and the recognition of the shared humanity that binds all Israelis together.

Moreover, history teaches that the Jewish people have faced seemingly insurmountable challenges before and have prevailed. From the trials of ancient times to the horrors of the Holocaust, the Jewish people have endured and emerged stronger. This resilience is not just a historical footnote; it is a defining characteristic of the Jewish spirit. It is a reminder that, no matter how dire the circumstances may appear, there is always hope for a brighter future.

Central to this resilience is the belief in divine assistance. Throughout history, the Jewish people have turned to prayer and faith in God during their darkest hours. This faith has been a source of comfort and a wellspring of hope, reinforcing the belief that, with God’s help, Israel can overcome any challenge. The power of heartfelt prayers, combined with the unity of the people and the strength of the IDF, forms a potent force that can guide Israel through the current conflict and beyond.

I pray that my “first real” Tisha B’Av will also be my last.

The writer is a rabbi and physician who lives in Ramat Poleg, Netanya, and is a cofounder of Techelet-Inspiring Judaism.