We’ve all heard the old saying, “Two Jews, three opinions.” How many opinions do we get when we put 30 Jewish young adults in the same room over a weekend, though? Better yet, what happens when we ask them to discuss a topic as sensitive and controversial as the Israel-Palestine conflict post-October 7?
I, like many Jews, have been constantly challenged in my beliefs since the absolute tragedy of October 7 and everything that has followed. To flush out my conflicting opinions and feelings, and perhaps to walk away with even more unanswered questions, I decided to attend Moishe House’s 4HQ Summit: Engaging with Israel through the 4 Hatikva Questions.
During the weekend of August 16-18, Jews from all over the US, and even one from Canada, took part in hard conversations. Our retreat took place in the beautiful dense forest of the Isabella Freedman Jewish Retreat Center in Connecticut – a striking contrast to the intense conversations we were having each day.
Our conversations were framed by the 4 Hatikva Questions method. Inspired by Israel’s national anthem, we discussed what it means, “to be a people, free, in our land.” This concept, according to our incredibly patient and knowledgeable facilitator, Robbie Gringas, is what Zionism is truly about. But more than that, he asked us to consider: Isn’t this concept what humanity all over the world desires?
Between Shabbat dinner, afternoon explorations of the surrounding mountains, and campfires near the lake, our cohort spanning everywhere from “uber-leftist queer Jews” to “conservative die-hard Zionists” discussed, debated, and deliberated on how to have these hard conversations as people who dearly love their Judaism and Israel. Why do people use terms like “genocide,” “occupation,” and “apartheid” when discussing Israel? What do they mean by these terms? What’s the intention behind using them? And, more importantly, how do we, as educated, passionate Jews with a direct tie to perhaps the most controversial topic on the planet right now, persuade these conversations to go from toxic debate to healthy argument, enabling all parties to grow from the exchange?
After the Summit
I walked out of the 4HQ Summit with many, many more questions. However, I believe I also developed an arsenal of skills to utilize when having these difficult conversations back in “normal” life. It became evident during the retreat that nuance and shades of gray are currently desperately lacking on all sides. Compassion and empathy are additional skills needed when having these hard conversations. However, you must also be brave, speak your truth, and take risks when putting your opinions on the line.
It’s important today, when we see extremes on all sides of the political aisle, not to fall into either side blindly. Stay nuanced, constantly ask questions (we are Jewish, after all, it’s in our blood to question everything), understand your “opponent’s” argument so that you can fully understand your own, and, most importantly, remain hopeful during these hard conversations.
The writer is a grant writer for a local nonprofit in Steamboat Springs, Colorado, as well as a Moishe House Without Walls (MHWOW) host.