Dear Golan family:
Like many others, I awoke to the news that your beautiful daughter, Shirel, was no longer with us. As the father of a terror victim – my daughter, Alisa, was murdered in the April 9, 1995, terror attack near Kfar Darom – I share your family’s pain and anguish. Even though I didn’t have the privilege of knowing Shirel, I do know that she and Alisa had in common a love for our country and the belief that you should enjoy life as it is presented to you.
I read that Shirel’s brother, Eyal, said, “The state killed Shirel.” I understand Eyal’s anguish over the loss of his sister just as much as I understand the anguish of my four children who lost their oldest sister. But Eyal is wrong; it was not the “state” that killed his sister, but Hamas.
I was with Alisa when she died the day after the attack. Her murder came at the height of excitement over the signing of the Oslo Accords, which has the fancy name “Declaration of Principles.” At the time of the signing in 1993, then-prime minister Rabin said, “We have come to try and put an end to the hostilities so that our children, our children’s children will no longer experience the painful cost of war, violence, and terror. We have come to secure their lives and to ease the sorrow and the painful memories of the past, to hope and pray for peace.”
“Our children” were supposed to be the beneficiaries of Rabin’s decision to sign an agreement with the Palestinians. We now know that neither our children nor our grandchildren have benefited from that agreement. Instead, we and they continue to be bombed, rocketed, stabbed, have shots fired at us from passing cars, and run over at bus stops.
Our dreams have been smashed over and over again in the years since, and Shirel’s tragic death underscores the impact of terrorism, extending far beyond the event itself, on among survivors, victims’ families, and all those who knew our children.
Frankly, I laugh at those who say that the Almighty only gives us trials and tests that we can handle. We are not our father Abraham, who was tested by God when told to sacrifice his son Isaac. Abraham may have passed that test, but his wife, Sarah, died upon hearing the news that Isaac was about to be sacrificed. Neither was Isaac the same after his father was tested. And Aaron’s sons were killed by God for bringing a forbidden offering; we cannot imagine what went through Aaron’s mind for the rest of his life.
Picking up the pieces when our lives are torn apart
Yet the parents of terror victims are not Abrahams or Aarons. We are simple, ordinary people who must try and figure out a way to put the pieces of our lives back together when they are torn apart.
We cannot fathom Shirel’s nightmares, whether awake or asleep, stemming from the post-traumatic stress disorder she suffered after the attack, which ultimately led her to end her promising young life. Living in the aftermath of terror is in and of itself terror. Would more treatment have helped Shirel? We’ll never know. But we can work to ensure that acts of terror do not stop us from living our lives and that assistance is available for victims and their families who seek it.
All of Israel is hugging you in your grief. May you be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.
The writer, an oleh living in Jerusalem, is president of the Religious Zionists of America (RZA). He is the father of Alisa Flatow, who was murdered in an Iranian-sponsored Palestinian terrorist attack in 1995, and the author of A Father’s Story: My Fight for Justice Against Iranian Terror. Note: The RZA is not affiliated with any American or Israeli political party.