For most of us, our parents are a source of security, stability, and unconditional support. They offer guidance, lend a helping hand, and stand by us through life's milestones. Whether we’re getting married, buying a home, or raising our own families, many of us continue to rely on our parents for advice and assistance. Over the past year, countless families leaned on grandparents, sometimes even moving in with them for safety and childcare support during challenging times.
Our parents spend decades nurturing and guiding us, but as they age and become more dependent, the roles begin to shift. Suddenly, we, the “children,” step into the role of “responsible adults,” tasked with caring for the very people who once cared for us.
“The moment we realize that our parents, who have been losing capabilities over time, have become dependent is incredibly challenging. It’s not just about acknowledging that they can no longer fulfill the roles they once fulfilled for us, our children, and our family—it’s about coming to terms with these changes on an emotional level,” says Ronit Paperny, Manager of Knowledge and Human Capital Development at the Nursing Division in Danel Group. “At the same time, we must reorganize as a family, defining our parents’ new needs and working out how best to meet them.”
To help navigate through this difficult stage of life, Peperoni provides several tips for keeping the balance and managing the situation:
- Understand the Situation
Understand your parent's medical condition and needs by getting a thorough diagnosis from a doctor. Make sure to educate yourself about the medical condition or limitation in order to understand what to expect and how to handle it.
- Choose A Guardian
Decide which family member will take on guardianship of the dependent parent. Assign one person to manage finances and liaise with banks and financial institutions, and another to handle health-related matters, including appointments, treatments, and communication with doctors and social security.
- Share Responsibilities
Work together with other family members. Divide responsibilities wherever possible and seek additional support, such as professional caregivers or nursing services, for regular or temporary assistance.
- Planning and Organization
Create a clear schedule that includes daily tasks, medical treatments, and time for rest. Keep track of required treatments, appointments, and medications.
- Know Your Rights
Investigate your parents' rights, such as nursing allowances, financial support for caregivers, or social welfare services. Consult a social worker or legal advisor for additional guidance.
- Ensure a Safe and Comfortable Living Environment
Arrange your home to meet your parent's needs. Install handrails, proper lighting, and low furniture. Remove dangerous items, like unstable chairs or curled rugs. Add safety devices, such as fall sensors or suitable locks.
- Maintain Emotional Connection
Dedicate time to conversations or shared activities that provide your parents with a sense of value and belonging. Even if communication is challenging, demonstrate presence through touch, music, or other activities your parents enjoy.
- Let Go of Guilt
Remember, you cannot do everything perfectly. Do your best within your abilities. Balance your caregiving with your family, work, and personal time. Allow yourself to also take some breaks and engage in other activities without feeling guilty. Don’t forget your hobbies or activities and dedicate personal time, even if it’s just 30 minutes a day, for something that recharges you (e.g., reading, meditating, or meeting friends).
- Keep Your Health in Check
Undergo routine check-ups and ensure you maintain a proper diet and sufficient sleep. Incorporate light physical activity, even if it’s a short daily walk.
- Seek Support Groups if Needed
Join caregiver support groups (either in-person or online) where you can share experiences and receive advice from others in similar situations. Such groups can help you manage stress and emotions through shared understanding.
Overall, caring for nursing-dependent parents is a challenging and often demanding role that meets us in the midst of our own busy lives, filled with other commitments. The emotional weight of becoming some sort of caregiver is significant. However, with proper planning, professional consultation, and support, it’s possible to provide the best care for your parents while maintaining a fulfilling and balanced lifestyle.
This article was written in cooperation with Danel Group