Ruty Strum has been living her Zionist dream for 20 years, having emigrated from her native Argentina to Israel. For Ruty as for many idealistic olim, it was not an easy journey, but she was determined to live her life in the Jewish homeland.
She first immigrated to Israel in 1977 – where her eldest son, Yair, now 45, was born – before reluctantly returning to Argentina shortly afterward. Raising her three sons, Yair, Amos (42), and Eitan (37) Horn, in Argentina’s close-knit Jewish community, Ruty knew that there was something missing from her life and was determined to build herself a home in the Jewish homeland, returning in 2003, a few years after Amos and Eitan. Finally, in 2014, just a few days before the outbreak of Operation Protective Edge, Yair returned to Israel, planting roots in the Gaza border kibbutz of Nir Oz, and Ruty was reunited with all three of her boys, finally achieving her lifelong dream of making aliyah as a family.
“We’re Zionists, this is where we belong. When Yair called me from Argentina in 2014 to tell me he was coming to Israel, I thought ‘Wonderful,” Ruty recalls, not realizing at the time that he intended to join her in making aliyah.
“It was incredible. Suddenly, the entire family was together again – me, my boys, my brother, nieces and nephews, and parents.” But that dream has now been shattered, as Ruty’s sons Yair and Eitan are being held hostage in Gaza since the morning of October 7.
The loss of two sons held hostage in Gaza
Ruty gazes somberly out of the window of her home in Kfar Saba, staring at the silhouettes of her two jovial sons beaming from the banner outside of her building. The deafening silence is a far cry from the warm and inviting household that her boys had always known.
“My home was always open for my sons and their friends growing up in Argentina. I would do whatever I could to provide for them, it was just natural for me,” Ruty explains, having given her whole heart to raising her boys as a single mother.
“I raised them to be very united, to enjoy being together. Whether it was their shared love for Hapoel Be’er Sheva and the Rolling Stones, or the trips they would take together abroad, they are always together. Even when we are not together physically, we are still together.”
It is that intrinsic, intangible connection that has given Ruty the strength to persevere each day. And while it could be a struggle to raise three boys, Ruty instilled in each a sense of caring and love that they have carried with them as they built their own lives in Israel.
Beneath their burly stature, all three boys share a heart of gold that has left an indelible impact within their communities in the Jewish homeland. Bushy-bearded Eitan, the youngest, who lives with Ruty in Kfar Saba, studied informal education, most recently working with the Mahanot HaOlim Youth Movement, aimed to better Israeli society through the promotion of social equality.
Growing up in a proud Zionist household in the Diaspora, Eitan takes the lessons from his own youth to give back and inspire the next generation.
“It doesn’t matter where Eitan worked, whether it was at Mahanot HaOlim or at the retail stores, at each place he left his mark,” Ruty says proudly. “Wherever he works, he does it with pride and respect for his workplace and the people he works with.”
Yair, the eldest Horn brother and the last to immigrate to Israel, chose to pursue the life of a pioneer, joining the community of Kibbutz Nir Oz, which welcomed the relative newcomer with open arms, and where the children would affectionately refer to him as the uncle of the kibbutz. Although he is not yet a full kibbutz member, Yair has become a valued and respected member of the community, leaving his own unique mark on the once little slice of paradise in the Western Negev desert.
“He gives everything he has to the kibbutz, just like a veteran member. He organizes all the holidays and celebrations,” embodying the same Zionist ideals that drove his mother to move to Israel for the first time more than 40 years ago.
“He even does stand-up, radio broadcasting, and manages the local pub at Nir Oz, making a mobile pub on wheels during COVID-19, going house to house to bring his neighbors and friends drinks,” Ruty says.
Last Purim, Yair wrote a song with all the names of the kibbutz members. It recently aired on the IDF radio station, Galgalatz, in commemoration of the Oct. 7 massacre. Ruty tearfully relays this information with sorrow and immense pride. She knows that Yair would have loved to be able to hear his song played on the radio.
A true Renaissance man, Yair has embedded himself in the pioneering spirit that the State of Israel was founded upon, raising the spirits of everyone around him, a quality he and his brothers deeply share. For Eitan, celebrating holidays and visiting his brother in his warm and vibrant community of Nir Oz was always something he looked forward to.
When he had time to spend the latter half of Sukkot with his big brother, he excitedly seized the opportunity. Like the rest of the country, their celebration quickly turned to tragedy as armed terrorists infiltrated the tranquil oasis, just a few kilometers from the border with Gaza.
AS SOON as the first sirens wailed in the early hours of the morning of Oct. 7, Ruty tried to contact her youngest son before calling Yair.
“I asked if they were in the ma’amad [shelter], to which he replied ‘Yes.’ ‘Did you lock the door?’ ‘Yes.’ So I said, ‘Well at least this time you aren’t alone,” Ruty recounts, almost by rote, as this is a scenario she has undoubtedly played over and over in her head in the agonizing days, weeks, and now months since that harrowing morning.
“At this point, we only thought it was a rocket attack. They were calm and safe; we were in communication with them until 8:30 a.m.” and then complete radio silence. That was the last time Ruty heard from either of her boys.
Remaining calm and collected, she continued to send messages asking that they call her when they got cellphone service or electricity.
Shortly thereafter, the world began to understand the horrors that had unfolded, and Ruty could do nothing but follow the news from the television. Only by 4 or 5 p.m. did the IDF reach the kibbutz, going house to house to check for survivors, notifying Ruty that her sons were not home, but providing no other information other than there was no sign of blood or gunshots.
“At first we thought they may have escaped and will return,” explains Ruty, holding on to those lingering hopes she had that they were safe.
“That whole time, I felt in my heart that they were still alive and will come back, a feeling that I continue to hold today, but there is a difference between what I feel and the evidence collected that has not provided me with any clear indication of their status.”
For weeks, Ruty continued to believe that Eitan and Yair were alive and held in Gaza, but with no information to support it, that optimism that she would see her sons again quickly began to fade.
“I didn’t see any videos, no photos, nothing. At some point, the authorities started to tell me that they were declared missing, likely taken hostage, but we still cannot be sure.” It was not until November 25 that Ruty received a message from the IDF liaison to the families of the hostages, confirming reports from several released hostages that Yair and Eitan were being held in Gaza.
“We did not talk to the hostages directly. We were told that they [Yair and Eitan] are still alive, and that’s enough for me,” Ruty says, cautiously optimistic and even cracking a smile. “I was so happy to see the other families reunited. This is what we all needed, but I never imagined we would still be waiting so long for the rest of the hostages to return. I am strong alone, but the entire nation is with me. It is what gives me that strength, embraces me, and this is why I can push forward.”
Despite the fact that for over 120 days Ruty has been living every mother’s worst nightmare, she continues to persevere and is confident that both Yair and Eitan will return home.
Looking toward the future, she cannot fathom what will be the “day after,” but she knows the first thing she will do is make them their favorite dish, empanadas. ■