PLAINVIEW, New York - A poster of 22-year-old Omer Neutra hangs in the front window of his childhood home next to a simple blue and white sign that reads “Bring Omer Home.”
That blue and white sign hangs in the doors and windows of many houses on the street in Plainview, New York, where Omer was raised before signing up for a gap year program in Israel and enlisting in the army.
The daffodils in front of the family’s window have returned. The magnolia and cherry blossom trees lining the street are in full bloom.
The last time Ronen and Orna Neutra spoke to Omer – their oldest son – on October 6, the neighborhood’s leaves were golden-orange.
A tank commander, Omer was stationed near Gaza’s border when Hamas terrorists invaded southern Israel the morning of October 7.
Ronen and Orna have barely been home since.
They’ve been on Capitol Hill, at the White House, on cable news, at the State of The Union address.
They’re about to embark on their fifth trip to Israel since October.
Ronen, Orna and family members of the eight other Israeli-American hostages had just returned from yet another trip to Washington as news broke of a possible Iranian retaliatory attack on Israel for allegedly killing of an Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps commander in Syria.
Hostages' families advocate in Washington
As leaders in the US capital scrambled to scuttle an Iranian attack, the hostages’ families met with National Security Advisor Jake Sullivan for the seventh time since October 7, and with Vice President Kamala Harris for the second. Another day was spent meeting with lawmakers on the Hill. They received guidance during a meeting with Hillary Clinton. They marched along the National Mall with thousands of supporters.
When the families met with Sullivan last Monday, he said the US promoted a deal that Israel accepted, and that Qatar and Egypt felt that Hamas should accept.
Ronen pointed out that Israel embraced the latest US proposal after the harsh conversation President Joe Biden had with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, where Biden said Israel must accept a deal and do more to provide humanitarian assistance to Gaza.
But the Neutras left DC not knowing whether Hamas would accept the deal. There hasn’t been a formal response, even though various media reports indicate the Hamas leadership isn’t ready to accept it.
The families are trying to push the administration to think outside the box, as Ronen said that after six months the existing strategy, working with Israel and applying pressure on Hamas through Qatar and Egypt, has obviously not been working.
It’s premature for the Neutras to discuss what other strategies are being floated in their meetings with the administration, Ronen said, but he added that it was important that Harris met with Aviva Siegel, a 62-year-old Israeli-American former hostage who was kidnapped with her husband Keith from their home Kfar Aza. Aviva was released on November 26 during the first temporary ceasefire. Keith remains in Gaza.
Seeking transparency
Aviva is the first returned hostage to meet with Harris, according to Ronen. He doesn’t see how being face-to-face with Aviva and her daughter and experiencing their pain wouldn’t have an impact.
“We’re hoping the smart people in the White House come up with new strategies to overcome the place where we are: eight American families, 133 overall hostages, who for four months haven’t seen anything. We are four months since the previous deal,” Ronen said. “All of us are constantly swinging between hope and despair.”
The families told the vice president that every week they hear an announcement of another hostage confirmed dead. There is no time, they told her
The families speak with Sullivan every few weeks in what Orna described as working meetings.
Sullivan is transparent with the families, sometimes to the point where Ronen said it hurts because the reality is not pretty.
But the Neutras want this transparency.
Omer’s younger brother, 20-year-old Daniel, said they know the situation is not good, so they want to understand it more.
“The facts are we haven’t heard from our son since October 6 there’s no ‘prettying’ it up,” Orna said. “We’ve been through this cycle so many times of being cautiously hopeful. You know that there’s a deal on the table and it’s something that you can’t avoid.”
The Neutras are dual Israeli-American citizens which they said allows them to provide the Biden administration with an unfiltered, unique perspective of being tuned in to Israeli as well as American public opinion.
Orna said she’s grateful for the government meetings, since the families are inundated with contradictory and false news reports. They’re often asked if they know something the public doesn’t. They don’t.
Keeping hope alive
But the Neutras are clear they do not take these meetings with the Biden administration for granted, even though they don’t lessen their frustration at not having their son home.
Ronen acknowledged 20-year-old Israel-American hostage Itay Chen, who Israeli authorities confirmed dead in March. Itay’s brothers and parents Ruby and Hagit have been with the Neutras and other Israeli-American families every step of the way.
It’s difficult seeing that happen in their small group, Ronen said.
But optimism trickles down through the administration from President Biden himself, Orna said.
“When we met with him personally that was his main message. He said you have to keep up the hope. You have to keep all of us accountable and make sure that this story is told and it’s kept front and center,” she said.Biden impressed upon the families that this is their role.
“I can’t tell you how exhausting it is to feel that burden,” Orna said. “But what drives it all is hope, right? If you don’t have hope, if you don’t keep up hope, then how can you wake up in the morning and engage in this kind of work, day in and day out?”
Echoing many of the hostages’ families, Orna described the six months since October 7 as one prolonged day. Nothing’s changed except that the days are passing by, she said.
The Neutras have to keep reminding themselves that this is their role. That no news is good news; that they have to keep fighting for Omer and hope he’s surviving.
Ronen is grappling with how Americans, including Jews, know so little about how many fellow Americans were killed and kidnapped on October 7. He said the level of ignorance and disconnect from their reality is staggering.
He’s afraid the world will move on from caring about the hostages in the way it moved on from caring about the war in Ukraine.
“Is this what’s going to happen in our story? Is this going to drag out forever, and no one would care?” he asked. “It’s a scary thought.”
Daniel said people talk about the hostage situation as if it’s something that happened, and not as if it’s something that’s ongoing.
Ronen said they would be paralyzed if they tried to think too carefully about this reality.
“We can’t let ourselves be in the tunnels, too,” Daniel said. “Our thoughts have to be where we are in order to be productive.”
Struggle for answers
A few months ago, while in Israel, a group of the hostages’ families set up booming loudspeakers along the border with Gaza just miles from Khan Yunis and the tunnels. Family members sent messages through the speakers hoping their loved ones could hear them.
When the Neutras are in the US, their family members in Israel take over meetings with government, intelligence and army officials.
The hostages’ families have only been granted one meeting with Netanyahu, which Orna said the prime minister only agreed to after months of intense pressure from the public, and now from more of those in his inner circle.The meeting wasn’t helpful, filled with vague sentences and uncertainty from Netanyahu. He seemed very much more focused on getting into Rafah, they said, and deflected questions when asked how he was going to get the hostages out.
Days after the families’ meeting with the Prime Minister in late March, massive protests erupted in the streets of Tel Aviv demanding that he achieve a deal.
The Neutras are now concernd that the threat of an Iranian attack is drawing even more attention away from the hostages.
“Everything is so volatile and our son is stuck in the middle of it,” Orna lamented.
Though Omer grew up in the States, his mom said he had a lot of Israeli characteristics.
The Neutras have a big family in Israel, and Omer felt compelled to serve. He’s a natural born leader and protector who challenges himself and chooses to serve others.
Ronen laughed, saying he’s the same kid whose room is a mess and who has to be reminded to take out the garbage. He’s an avid Knicks fan.
“It’s the same guy, right?” Ronen said. “It’s our son, a young boy. He’s a kid. Just a normal kid.”