Birds pissed off at Netanyahu too, join Balfour protests

Purim parody: “We’ve always thought Netanyahu was going to be a hawk."

A PUT-OFF pigeon holds a poster as his friends join the humans protesting with unclear goals outside the Prime Minister’s Residence on Strike Three Street in Jerusalem. (photo credit: COMPOSITE PHOTO BY OLGA LEVI/REUTERS/FLASH90/WIKIMEDIA COMMONS)
A PUT-OFF pigeon holds a poster as his friends join the humans protesting with unclear goals outside the Prime Minister’s Residence on Strike Three Street in Jerusalem.
(photo credit: COMPOSITE PHOTO BY OLGA LEVI/REUTERS/FLASH90/WIKIMEDIA COMMONS)
 Thousands of pigeons, doves, bustards and other local avians have quite literally flocked to Jerusalem’s Strike Three Street outside the Prime Minister’s Official Residence to join the protests against Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu that have been going on for beaks-on-end.
Some members of the newly formed Bird Watch movement carried little black flags in their beaks, demanding that Netanyahu resign from office.
“We’ve always thought Netanyahu was going to be a hawk, a strong pinion on the right wing that wouldn’t be pushed around by anyone,” Bird Watch leader Tzipora Kingfisher told The Jerusalem Roast. “Instead, we see him as meek as a dove toward the penguins. He does whatever they say!”
Other activists claim they are upset with the prime minister’s lockdown policies, as they keep many Avian-Israelis from their main source of income – breadcrumbs at parks and outdoor garbage cans.
“He wants to starve us out!” complained another activist, Yonah Shahaf. “But we aren’t chickens – except of course for the actual chickens here among us. These policies won’t fly with us!”
Despite several reported cases of assaults carried out against protesters, and some ruffled feathers, the activists are determined to have their tweets heard, digging in – or rather, “nesting” in - for the long-haul.
“Some guys came up to me and started stepping on me. At first, as a joke, but they nearly cracked my beak. Then they flipped me the bird!” one cagey Avian activist said.
In Caesarea, a few dozen local seagulls affiliated with the Birds First movement, considered more radical than other anti-Netanyahu bird movements, gathered outside of Netanyahu’s private residence. Some of the more extreme demonstrators relieved themselves on the sidewalk. Others were heard squawking: “Don’t be an eagle! This is illegal!” and “Lower the burden on birds, not people!”   
Netanyahu was perplexed by the sudden arrival of avian protesters, calling their complaints “bird-brained,” and police have urged them to disperse.

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However, support for the avian activists came from one of the prime minister’s closest allies, Finance Minister Israel Catz, who hopes they stay around.
“It’s better to keep the birds all in one place, makes it easier to find them,” Catz told the Roast while licking his paws clean. “Centralized resources are key for economic growth.”