When the ambulance pulled up to her home, she was on the floor clutching the package as a crowd gathered outside. It was the most exciting event to occur in Modi’in in over five years.
“I had ordered some picture frames from a store in Jerusalem, so I thought it would take at least three months, like it usually does,” said the woman from the corridor of Batsheba Hospital in Tel Aviv where she was being monitored for shock and a possible myocardial infarction. She attempted to further elaborate, but began hyperventilating and had to be sedated.
“I’m not surprised this happened,” explained Doctor Corona Covid the 19th. “Something so completely unexpected can trigger a severe emotional and physiological reaction. Receiving an item of mail from the post office in just 28 days is, well it’s absolutely unprecedented in Israeli history. Who wouldn’t be shocked?”
News of the incident quickly circulated over social media, with many Israelis considering it a hoax due to the Israel Post’s reputation of making the term “snail mail” sound like a compliment. Others took the postal service to task for causing a woman physical harm with their sudden comparative efficiency.
In response, the Israel Post issued a statement apologizing for causing any harm to the woman.
“We greatly regret that we have caused so much harm by delivering mail in complete violation of our customers’ expectations,” the postal service said. “However, this was a one-time mishap. In the future, we will continue to service our customers in the manner they are accustomed to.”
The postal service also promised to pay the woman compensation for her hospital stay, and has sent a check to her address. As of press time, the check was last seen making its way a random makolet in Dimona, and is set to arrive in three months time.