Former Defense Minister Israel Katz has been removed from his position after it was revealed that he was actually three cats wrapped in a trench coat.
An investigation has been launched into all MKs named ‘Katz,’ the Prime Minister’s Office confirmed.
"For years, I've wondered why Minister Katz always insisted on bringing a cardboard box to every meeting, but now I understand,” Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said in a statement.
"I've always been suspicious of Katz. He constantly hissed at me during Knesset sessions and once knocked my water glass off the podium while maintaining eye contact,” Former national security minister Itamar Ben-Gvir wrote on X/Twitter.
“This confirms what I've known all along—we need stricter vetting procedures for cabinet positions, and not just accept anyone who says they really like sitting in cabinets!"
In a statement sent to The Jerusalem Roast, Katz wrote, “Fyfasrthou;76cbjk.”
With the news that the remaining MKs named Katz are being investigated, MKs Ofir Katz and Ron Katz have vehemently objected to the move, claiming investigating someone for their name is "discriminatory" in a shared video statement uploaded to social media.
“The fact that I occasionally nap during long Knesset sessions is purely coincidental, and I will not tolerate this defamation," Ofir Katz said.
A truly cat-astrophic cons-purr-icy
"This is clearly a conspiracy against all of us with the Katz surname,” Ron Katz added.
“I have never once chased a laser pointer during a budget meeting, and any videos suggesting otherwise have been doctored.”
The investigation is being led by Opposition head Yair Labid and MK Orit Barkash-Hacohen, who have been hounding the authorities non-stop for the investigation to proceed.
In addition to their investigation, the two have retrieved a bill calling for all current and future Knesset members to undergo basic obedience testing — stating that simple commands like 'sit' and 'stay' would allow the government to quickly sniff out any feline imposters."