Jacob our patriarch receives word from his messengers that his twin brother, Esau, is approaching him at the head of a camp of 400 men. Alarmed, Jacob fears for the fate of his wives and young children.
Rashi (1040-1105, the great Torah commentator who lived and worked in France) explains that Jacob prepared himself for the encounter with three strategies: a gift, prayer, and war.
What was Jacob’s prayer at that moment?
Our Torah portion Vayishlach presents a moving monologue Jacob delivers before the creator. He begins by acknowledging God’s great kindness toward him, from the time he fled his parents’ home empty-handed until now, as the father of a large, blessed family. Then, he pleads before God:
“Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau, for I am afraid of him lest he come and strike me, mother, and children” (Genesis 32:12).
What is the meaning of such detailed wording? Surely, God knows that Esau is his brother, that Jacob fears him, and that he is anxious about what Esau might do. Why, then, does Jacob specify all these points?
The Zohar (the foundational text of Kabbalah and mystical teachings, attributed to Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai and his disciples) derives essential lessons about the nature of prayer from these verses:
“To show all people that one must begin prayer by praising the creator, and only afterward express one’s request. This is what Jacob did: First, he praised the creator, and after praising, he expressed his request. Thus, it says, ‘Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau, for I am afraid of him lest he come and strike me, mother, and children.’ From this, we learn that one who prays must clarify one’s words as is proper: ‘Save me, I pray.’ And if You say, ‘I have already saved you from Laban,’ then ‘from the hand of my brother!’ And if You say, ‘from other relatives,’ since relatives are also called brothers, then ‘from the hand of Esau!... This is so that the matter is clear above, articulated properly, and not left ambiguous.”
Why is it appropriate to thank God before presenting a request? And why must every detail of the request be articulated before the creator, who knows everything?
To understand this, we must explore the essence of prayer. Why do we pray at all? Does God not know what is best for us? Do we not believe that everything God does is for the best? Why remind Him of our needs when, as we declare in the Rosh Hashanah prayers, “there is no forgetfulness before Him”?
Prayer is one of the foundations and purposes of creation. Its essence lies in the perpetual connection between the created and the creator. Sincere prayer has the power to absolve a person from judgment, for God desires this connection and the outpouring of the soul. Such prayer not only nullifies decrees but also bestows upon the individual blessings beyond his or her dreams.
Thus, prayer is not a superficial recitation of a list of needs, akin to a to-do list from a boss to an employee, or a grocery list a parent gives a child. Prayer is a deeply personal connection between the individual and God, an expression of trust, a reinforcement of faith and reliance upon Him. King David beautifully depicts this in the Psalms:
“Like a weaned child with his mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me” (Psalms 131:2).
Accordingly, a brief and concise request alone does not align with the true purpose of prayer. True prayer begins with gratitude, which reflects trust and acknowledgment of God’s greatness. Then, it elaborates on every concern and worry, expressed from the depths of the heart and soul.
This is real prayer.■
The writer is rabbi of the Western Wall and Holy Sites.