If you constantly question your relationship, even when there's nothing to worry about, there's no need to dismiss your concerns anymore. The scientific community has your back, as gaslighting is dispelled by the global sector of mental and behavioral sciences.
Now, if someone accuses their spouse of cheating, they don't have to dismiss them as "just hysterical" because science has given them a label. Recently, a new and common syndrome has emerged - rOCD, specifically related to relationships. The defense has changed to "I'm not cheating, you're just suffering from a mental syndrome."
rOCD, or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in Relationships, is a specific type of OCD. It involves distressing obsessions and doubts about one's feelings towards their partner or the "rightness" of the relationship.
This leads to compulsive behavior aimed at decreasing anxiety. Courtney Farr, a Rhode Island doctor specializing in anxiety, explains the questions that haunt those suffering from rOCD:
"What if I'm not genuinely in love with my partner?" "What if he doesn't really love me?" "Maybe he's cheating on me?" Other thoughts tormenting rOCD sufferers include "What if I miss out on other opportunities while with Ben?" and "Do I miss him enough when we're apart?"
@drcourtneypare Do you relate? Relationship OCD involves frequent, distressing obsessions / doubts about one’s feelings toward their partner or the “rightness” of the relationship; leading to compulsive behavior to try to decrease anxiety. #rocd #rocdawareness #ocd #obsessivecompulsivedisorder #relationshipanxiety #anxietycheck #ocdcheck #intrusivethoughts ♬ complex (demo) - Katie Gregson-MacLeod
Farr's video on TikTok immediately resonated with viewers
"Oh my God, you've changed my life," one viewer exclaimed. "I have rOCD, even though my partner is amazing and I feel like a terrible partner."
"It's literal hell because I love him so much, but these thoughts consume me," agreed another.
"I thought I was alone in feeling this way, but I was wrong. Thank you for providing comfort and relief," a third person said.
But don't worry, Farr assures that there are ways to manage and overcome rOCD. The doctor suggests therapy and journaling, as writing down thoughts may alleviate some of the compulsive internal questioning.
Communication with your partner can also be helpful, but rOCD sufferers must come to terms with the inherent uncertainty in any relationship. "It can be overwhelming and exhausting, but it is possible to have loving and fulfilling relationships even without complete certainty," Farr concludes.