The bar mitzvah ceremony has profound meaning; it is the moment when a child becomes a man.
My father died just two days before our elder son’s bar mitzvah. I recall the rabbi saying, “A man has left us but a new man has arrived.”
Last month a young lad from the Masorti (Conservative) Movement was in the midst of his bar mitzvah ceremony at the egalitarian section of the Kotel used by the Masorti movement when so-called Orthodox activists descended upon the site, interrupting the ceremony by setting up a mehitza in order to use the area for their own prayer services.
This disturbing event took place just two days prior to the onset of Tisha Be’av, the day we recall the destruction of the First and Second Temples. In addition, it marks the anniversaries of vicious hatred against Jews embracing the expulsion of Jews from England; the expulsion of Jews from Spain; massacre of Jews during the Crusader period and, more recently, the annihilation of six million Jews during World War II.
But it is not only about remembering those from outside who hated the Jews; the Talmud and the historian Josephus tell us that the Second Temple was destroyed due to sinat hinam (causeless hatred) between Jew and Jew. What happened to a 13-year-old reciting his bar mitzvah portion in accordance with Masorti tradition is an example of Jews hating their fellow Jews. It is a reflection of how extreme elements who consider themselves observant Orthodox Jews can bring hatred and division between our people.
Tragically, it does not end with one boy’s special day being destroyed; our Chief Rabbinate has contributed toward the distancing of American Jewry from Israel. In the United States, Jews who identify as Reform and Masorti outnumber those who identify as Orthodox five to one. Unfortunately, the Chief Rabbinate, together with extremist elements in recent past governments, have done everything in their power to disenfranchise the Reform and Masorti branches of Judaism.
Back in January 2016, the government led by former prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu approved a plan to upgrade the area near Robinson’s Arch for use specifically by the Reform and Conservative movements as well as for the Women of the Wall. However, in 2017, under pressure from Netanyahu’s ultra-Orthodox coalition partners, the plan was put on indefinite hold.
Some 45% of world Jewry is based in the United States. Can we really afford to alienate this sector of Jews? Our newly elected President Isaac Herzog, having completed three years as the chair of the Jewish Agency, is keenly aware of the urgent necessity of healing the rift between Israeli and US Jews. In an interview last year he stressed the virtually equal numbers of Jews residing here and the US, highlighting the significance of American Jewry.
Herzog points out that healing the rift between the two populations is a two-way process. The challenges faced by Israelis and Diaspora Jews are different. He gave the example of his son serving in the IDF. Israeli 18-year-olds are obliged to enlist in the IDF where after initial training they have to place their hand on the Tanach (Bible), swearing their allegiance to the State of Israel – including their readiness to sacrifice their lives for the State. Their contemporaries in the Diaspora are contemplating which university they might wish to enter.
Herzog spoke of the lack of knowledge of many Jews living abroad who simply are unaware of how Israel came into being. He stressed the importance of knowledge and the manner in which Jewish Agency shlichim were carefully chosen to bring the true face of Israel into the Jewish communities of America, including university campuses where too many Jewish students are embracing the Palestinian narrative. While the Birthright and J.A. Masa Programs successfully offer young Jews an Israel experience, it is vital to ensure that the participants have the opportunity of meeting with and speaking to their Israeli counterparts.
We Jews are not all the same, but we should not be destroying the manner in which our fellow Jews wish to live and pray.
BACK TO the beginning and the memories that a bar mitzvah boy has of the day on which he became a man.
Michael, my elder son will always have mixed feelings because the grandfather he dearly loved died just prior to his bar mitzvah. He recalls that three weeks before his bar mitzvah Shabbat his grandparents were staying with us for the weekend. Following our Friday night dinner, Michael sang his Haftarah especially for his grandparents. My father, who imbued in me a deep appreciation of Judaism and love of Israel, was profoundly moved. Tragically, two days later, he had a stroke with his life ending just prior to Michael’s bar mitzvah.
And what of the 13-year-old whose Masorti bar mitzvah ceremony was callously disrupted by those who choose to pray in a different manner? How will he remember the day on which he became a man, when joy turned into pain and anguish?
This Shabbat we will read the third of seven haftarot that bring comfort following the destruction of both Temples, resulting in our exile. Today we are no longer in exile; we are blessed to have our own Jewish State, which brings comfort and security at a time of an unprecedented rise in antisemitism.
Yet let us also remember that the Second Temple was destroyed because of sinat hinam.
The words of the Baal Shem Tov ring loud and clear: “Forgetfulness leads to exile, while remembrance is the secret of redemption.”
The writer is chairperson of Israel, Britain and the Commonwealth Association (IBCA). She is also public relations chair of ESRA, which promotes integration into Israeli Society. The views expressed are hers alone.