Britain

Reports suggest a loan agreement could see the marbles return to Greece after over 200 years.

“When it was first performed, the work was a way to commemorate terrible days that, it was hoped, will never return, yet to our great sorrow they do,” director Ido Ricklin told The Jerusalem Post.

The anchor was being used for decoration in a house in Muxía, according to Spanish media reports.

Parliament was briefly suspended as people in the gallery joined in, and shouting drowned out others in the chamber.

“We think that the benefits of being on X are now outweighed by the negatives and that resources could be better used promoting our journalism elsewhere," The Guardian explained.

Scientists are baffled by Skynet-1A's new position, as celestial mechanics indicate that the probability it arrived there due to accidental drift is negligible.

The newly elected conservative leader has a history of making pro-Israel statements.

He was also made subject to an injunction preventing him from repeating the libel, which Yaxley-Lennon admitted repeatedly breaching between February 2023 and this July.

Out of fear of a wider regional conflict, the British embassy withdrew family members of Israeli embassy staff.

"I call again for an immediate ceasefire in Gaza. The return of the sausages," Starmer mistakenly declared.