Traumatized in Israel, healing in Thailand - opinion

The Nova festival brought together a starlit desert night and boundless joy. Nova was a space dedicated to honoring inner light and goodness. Then came October 7.

When Israelis went to sleep that night, they expected to wake up to a regular Shabbat-Simchat Torah morning. Instead, they woke to an onslaught torn from the most blood-soaked pages of Jewish history. That morning, the IDF was caught off guard as waves of Hamas terror troops unleashed a butchering, raping, and plundering spree.

Families were burned alive; women, who minutes before were joyously dancing, were raped, tortured, and had their bodies mutilated, while thousands of festival-goers were suddenly being hunted and butchered. On that black morning, the only ones celebrating were ecstatic crowds of Gazan civilians who cheered and spat on hostages paraded through their streets.

Now, hundreds of thousands of Israelis are reeling from traumatic experiences while living in a society that has been shaken to the core. Researchers from Israeli universities and elsewhere report that as many as one-quarter of Israelis may be suffering from PTSD or are at serious risk of trauma-related mental health issues.

Collective trauma

Today, Israel is a country immersed in collective trauma, and the events of October 7th continue to unfold in real time. Collective trauma requires collective healing, and collective healing requires collective responsibility. One remarkable example of collective responsibility is the opening of David’s Circle in Thailand.

David’s Circle represents personalities, their stories, and a shared determination to create a healing space for Nova survivors and others gasping for air in the circles of pain that now permeate Israeli society. Let’s begin with a love story.

Reflective and soft-spoken, Noam Ben David is an artist and a gentle soul. Noam first met David Newman in 2021. It was love at first dance. David, with his fill-the-room smile, held Noam aloft as they danced. With time, Noam and David understood they were destined to dance to eternity. They traveled, basked in nature, shared their fears and dreams, and danced wherever they went. Noam recalls, “I was never particularly adventurous, yet with David I came to understand that the world is a beckoning place of beauty and opportunity. With David, it seemed like self-discovery was around every corner. I’m an artist. David showed me new canvases for the work of art we call life.”

On October 6, David borrowed the car of his roommate and close friend, Baruch Apisdorf. David was taking Noam to Nova to sell her art and do what they do – dance and smile the night away.

Shortly after sunrise on the 7th, rockets suddenly filled the sky, and out of nowhere, Hamas came hunting. David and Noam joined the rush of thousands fleeing for their lives. A hail of bullets was claiming the lives of young people everywhere. David managed to send a text to Baruch, saying, “Pray for me. Something terrible has happened.” A short time later, Baruch, along with other friends, rushed into the mayhem, searching for David.

They had no idea that David, Noam, and others were burrowing into the bowels of a garbage-filled dumpster. David realized they had been spotted. A Golani, he calmly told Noam and the others not to make a move or sound, and he left to confront the approaching attackers. A bullet pierced his chest. Noam heard, and still hears, David’s last breath. The marauders raked the dumpster with machine gun fire. Noam, one of two survivors, now walks and dances with crutches.

David and Noam had a special connection to white butterflies. Since David’s murder, “they frequently visit me, particularly when I’m feeling down. I know they are from David. I feel him every day,” she says, pointing to her heart.

Feelings shared by Nova survivors 

NOAM’S “DOWN” feelings are shared by thousands of Nova survivors, haunted by anxiety and the belief that no one understands them. In an Israel where one can’t escape the daily reminders of awful events or the death of a loved one, hundreds of thousands of people, like Noam, often feel like they need to get away – far away. Among them are Yoni, Yael, and Let’s Do Something.

Yoni Kampf is no stranger to PTSD. He is a social worker at Migdal Ohr, an NGO that provides education and social guidance to children from underprivileged and dysfunctional homes in northern Israel. He is pursuing advanced studies in the area of sexual abuse and trauma.

Yael Shoshani-Rom is a highly regarded trauma therapist. After October 7, she began working with Nova survivors. One day, after a lecture, Yoni heard about Yael’s perception that a healing journey frequently requires distance from the triggering environment. Yael said she was dreaming about opening a healing center in Thailand. Two days later, at a Friday night dinner, something happened that Yoni couldn’t ignore.

Baruch, Yoni’s brother-in-law, is the founder and CEO of Let’s Do Something, an organization that five friends founded in honor of David Newman. That Friday night, Baruch was at his sister and brother-in-law’s home and brought a special guest: Noam. Noam spoke about the many Nova survivors who were traveling to Thailand.

Nonetheless, she said, these are deeply wounded people at severe risk of spiraling downwards, and there was nothing in Thailand to support them. So, Yoni had now heard the same message twice. He knew he had to introduce Yael to Baruch. That meeting happened over coffee in Tel Aviv and became the beginning of a partnership now known as David’s Circle.

Three months after that first coffee, Yael and her family set out for Koh Phangnan Island. In late August, they were joined by Segev Ben Shalom and his family. Segev, an IDF social worker, is experienced in implementing community projects.

Today, thanks to these two families that dramatically changed their lives, young Israelis in desperate need of help are no longer alone. They now have a welcoming home away from home and the potential to access a guided path to healing and a healthy future. Yael recalls, “It became clear that for these people and survivors from the devastated border communities and soldiers as well, the date on the calendar still reads October 7th... Then it hit me: ‘Who will be there for them? These are our kids, our future. We must be there for them’... I contacted Chabad in Thailand. They pleaded, ‘Come!!’ And then Yoni introduced me to Baruch, and from there it flowed.”

Segev says, “In the shadow of October 7, many project a bleak future for young Israelis and a coming shift from the Start-Up Nation to a wounded Down Turn Nation. I refuse to accept that. I’ve seen the power of the human spirit to reclaim itself. David’s Circle, I believe, will be part of the next chapter in our story of not just surviving but thriving in the face of immense adversity.”

A year later

On October 7, 2024, Let’s Do Something will host an event on Koh Phangan Island. Baruch Apisdorf, its CEO, says, “We believe that ‘He who saves one life saves a world.’ We also know we’re responsible for one another. Politics or religion aside, we’re family... There is no way we want anyone to be alone on Oct. 7th. No way... Today, thousands of Israelis a travel to Thailand every month in search of respite, many at acute risk for a mental health crisis. To me, each one of those people could have been my best friend David, and each one is Noam. That’s why we created David’s Circle – for the futures that can be, in memory of the future that never will be.”

The writer is an award-winning author and the founder of Operation Home Again, the first organization solely devoted to community-based aliyah from America, and a Let’s Do Something advisory board member.