Maternity leave is full of moments alone with your tiny baby, and it’s likely that you have sentiments you want to share. If your son/daughter were an adult, you would express some thoughts beyond a regular conversation. So here are some general thoughts that most moms have that you wish you could say to your baby.
I love you more than anyone in the world, but I'm exhausted
New moms are wiped out. So much physical and mental effort is required, that they’re adapting to a new way of life and a new role with a lot of responsibility. Add to that sleepless nights and long days and you have a deep, built-in and constant fatigue that affects mood and general energy.
I just want to drink my coffee while it’s hot
Continuing from the previous section, one solution for fatigue (besides sleep, of course) is coffee, yet most moms say that they don't remember the last time they drank their coffee leisurely when it was hot, because as soon as they sat down, the baby started crying.
When you sleep I look at pics I took of you
People say you should sleep when the baby sleeps. *Cue the laughter.* Most moms find it hard to put their heads down when the baby falls asleep and find themselves flipping through the pictures they took, filled with love and emotion.
Everything you do moves me
When the baby looks at you, or only wants you, or is splashing in the bath, these are all exciting moments. Babies don’t need to do too much for you to get emotional and teary-eyed.
If I leave for just an hour I'll miss you
You ask for a moment for yourself, go out with a friend for a coffee or get a massage. Yet, don't you count the minutes until you come home to the baby? Other parents do, too. Time apart is helpful but worrying and longing is hard and you just want to go be with the baby.
Even if sometimes you think I'm sad, know that I'm so happy that you came into my life
First-time parenting isn’t easy and comes with loneliness and challenges. Moms find themselves dealing with the difficulties and at the same time loving the new creation which has joined the family. Some mourn the life that was and is now changing and some need more time to adapt, but this has nothing to do with your deep feelings towards the baby.
If you see yourself in one or more of these sentences, you’re in good company. Everything you feel is legitimate, and it always makes it easier to know that other moms, like you, are in the same boat. Accept the good thoughts as well as the less positive and be forgiving towards yourself - especially in this time of new parenthood.
If you’re feeling really irritated, lethargic or stressed, speak to your doctor to see if you have postpartum depression. Medications and therapy do help.
This article was written in partnership with the JAMA parenting app.