The complex story of Joseph and his brothers is a study in sibling rivalry, simmering family tensions, and fractured relationships. It showcases the toxic effects of unresolved conflict, favoritism, and jealousy that slowly erode the family’s unity.
This tragic chapter in our history is a powerful reminder of how destructive unchecked jealousy and a lack of communication can be to a family.
However, this saga is also a story of two specific brothers – Joseph and Judah – who emerge as the dominant contenders for leadership of our nascent nation. These two figures will wrestle with one another for the mantle of leadership. In the climactic moment of this epic, Judah directly challenges Joseph, demanding freedom for his brothers.
In the long term, each of these two strong personalities is destined to establish a branch of Jewish monarchy. Numerous monarchs will emerge from Joseph’s descendants, while the primary royal lineage of our nation will be traced back to the house of Judah.
Surprisingly, the arcs of these two brothers are quite bizarre. Joseph is despised by his brothers, hijacked from his father, sold into slavery multiple times, and ultimately incarcerated in a dungeon. It’s not exactly the storyline you would expect for someone destined for leadership.
Judah’s arc is equally unconventional and unsettling. He takes a foreign wife with whom he bears three children. Two of them pass away prematurely, and afterward, Judah ignores his widowed daughter-in-law. Ultimately, he mistakenly has relations with her, which results in her becoming pregnant with twin boys. She is nearly executed for her perceived crimes until Judah comes clean and confesses to being the father.
These are very strange accounts for individuals who will eventually lead our nation. These future leaders must confront real-life challenges, and the trials and scandals they endure along the walk of life will teach them hard lessons in leadership.
In your dreams
Joseph is a dynamic personality with natural charisma. He possesses striking looks, flashy clothing, and effortlessly attracts everyone within his radius. He is a man of grand vision, dreaming of glory and greatness. Convinced that his dreams will serve the greater good and shape Jewish history, he speaks about them openly, hoping to influence and persuade others of his innate talent and potential.
What he fails to realize is that leadership is not about materializing your own dreams or imposing your will and vision upon others. Leadership isn’t about influencing others to adopt your ideals, but about helping others reach and attain their own hopes and dreams.
At the beginning of Parashat Vayeshev, he dreams of himself at the center. By the end of the parasha, he becomes part of other people’s dreams. Only after being thrown into prison does he learn the art of listening to others’ dreams and of helping them make sense of their own personal aspirations and desires. In that dark and dank prison, he finally becomes part of someone else’s story.
Hard times
In prison, he also realizes that not everyone has the luxury of dreaming about their future success. His dreams are grandiose and atmospheric. He witnesses his family collecting the grain and cashing in on their material success, while he stands in the middle.
He also dreams of planets orbiting in the heavens, envisioning his own meteoric power and influence. His dreams inhabit a rarefied, higher plane, far removed from the drudgery and monotony of everyday life. His dreams are rooted in success, power, and the pursuit of greatness.
In prison, he meets people who have fallen on hard times, who have been given a rough turn in life and seem stuck. The two prisoners are former members of the royal court who have fallen from grace and are dazed and disillusioned as they grapple with the sting of being cast out and forgotten.
The prisoners Joseph meets don’t dream of stars or material abundance but just of finding some purpose in life, a way to redeem themselves from emptiness. Not everyone’s life is rosy and cheery. People suffer hardships and setbacks as they navigate an unforgiving world.
Until Joseph learns to listen to other people’s dreams, he cannot be a leader. Likewise, until he realizes how hard some people have it, he cannot be a leader.
Leadership has nothing to do with influence or popularity. Just because you speak into a microphone doesn’t make you a leader. In the world of social media, it is relatively easy for people to grab megaphones and self-deputize as pretend leaders. Leadership lies in the quiet empathy that flows from understanding the struggles of others and the courage to embrace dreams that are not your own.
Do you advance the aspirations of others, or do you merely leverage their attention to serve your own ambitions? This is the hard lesson that Joseph must learn in prison before he can become a leader.
Spare parts
Judah must learn different lessons. Devoid of dreams himself, he does not need to learn the art of nurturing the dreams of others. Instead, he must learn that people are fragile, marked by both moments of strength and episodes of vulnerability. Even saints can sin, and everyone has a dark side to them. Human beings must not be held to impossibly high standards; even great people will have moments of weakness.
Judah can only learn this lesson by experiencing his own moral hiccups. Though he becomes ensnared in an unseemly tale, he redeems himself by taking full responsibility for his mistakes, despite the dishonor it brings. He learns that leadership entails tolerating others and their imperfections rather than holding them to impossible standards.
Had he learned this lesson earlier, perhaps he would have been more magnanimous toward Joseph and his wild ambitions. He would have appreciated the sincerity of Joseph’s aspirations, even while realizing how toxic and dangerous runaway ambition can be.
Likewise, had he appreciated human fragility, Judah would have better understood the pain and anguish of his daughter-in-law Tamar, who was twice widowed, rather than blaming her or casting her as a black widow.
Leadership means tolerating others’ failures, exhibiting patience when people stumble, and trusting in their ability to recover. Judah must visit his own inner darkness to understand the darkness that resides within every human soul.
Truth and reckoning
Additionally, Judah must learn the painful lesson of honesty, even when it costs him. Trust is the cornerstone of all relationships and the foundation of leadership. Without being trustworthy and holding to a personal code of honor, a person has no right to influence or affect the lives of others. People follow those who embody integrity and a moral compass.
Judah exemplifies this honesty and integrity when he chooses to shame himself rather than let an innocent woman carry their dark secret to her grave. In doing so, he earns the trust of everyone around him. They place their confidence in him to navigate the difficult crises ahead.
Jacob will trust him to travel with Benjamin to free Simeon from prison, and the brothers will trust him to serve as their representative in prosecuting for their collective freedom. Without unwavering honesty and a life grounded in integrity, one forfeits the right to lead.
Joseph and Judah each embark on their own personal odysseys toward leadership. Joseph learns to shift the focus from his own dreams to the aspirations of others. Along his journey, he also discovers that life is not always bright and carefree, and he learns to empathize with the struggles of ordinary people, who face hardship, disillusionment, and displacement.
Along his journey to leadership, Judah learns that human beings are naturally imperfect and that people shouldn’t be judged harshly for their flaws and limitations.
Moreover, he realizes that without honesty and integrity, he should not be making decisions on behalf of others.
The writer is a rabbi at the hesder pre-military Yeshivat Har Etzion/Gush, with Yeshiva University ordination and a master’s in English literature from the City University of New York. His most recent book, Reclaiming Redemption: Deciphering the Maze of Jewish History (Mosaica Press), is available in bookstores or at www.reclaimingredemption.com.