“You are children of the Lord your God. You shall not gash yourselves or shave your head because of the dead” (Deuteronomy 14:1). Anyone who wishes to understand the way Jews think about God can do so by exploring the commentary on this verse.
Asking why the two statements are juxtaposed – 1) that you are children of God and 2) you should not gash yourself for the dead – our commentators offer a range of interpretations. Ibn Ezra writes that the verse reminds us that although we may not understand God’s decrees in this world, God’s action is motivated by love as is the case with any parent. Children don’t always understand, but they sense the love from which a good parent’s actions emanate. To injure yourself because of what God has done is therefore to lack the trust we should have in God’s parental love.
Another explanation is that all life ultimately belongs to God, so God is taking that which is God’s – and to injure yourself is to misunderstand this reality. This is reminiscent of Bruriah’s beautiful comment on the loss of her children. When her husband Rabbi Meir comes home, she tells him that someone lent her two jewels, and should she return them to the owner? When Rabbi Meir says of course she must, she gently leads him to the children’s room (Midrash Mishley 31:10). God has given life, and it is God’s to reclaim.
Yet another approach is to point to the difference between pagan assumptions and our own tradition. Whereas pagan gods were jealous and therefore to wound oneself was a way to appease them, the God of Israel is motivated by love, and does not want to see us needlessly suffer.
Two concluding understandings of this verse paint the most comprehensive picture of Israel’s deep sense of the nature of God in the world. Several commentators explain that even if one loses a parent, one is not parentless in this world, for we are children of God. In God’s world, none are orphans. To wound yourself is to forget the comfort of still having a parent in the world.
Sforno, among others, reminds us that God is reassuring the Jewish people with these words that death is not the end. A parent does not abandon a child. God does not abandon us, living or dead. Do not injure yourself because death is not only an end but a portal to a new beginning. There is something beyond this world and that too, is under the superintendence of the God, who is the parent of all.
Underlying all these explanations is the obligation not to harm oneself, which is of great importance in Judaism. Taking care of one’s health and not destroying or defacing the body God has given us, is illustrated in many ways in our tradition. The Talmud tells us that when Hillel went to the bathhouse he said he was going to perform a mitzvah – to wash and care for one’s body is a mitzvah (Vayikra Rabbah 34:3). Hillel points out that even lifeless statues are cleaned and washed, and how could he do less for an actual image of God? To cut or abuse one’s body is to spurn the gift God has given.
Each of these takes on the verses presupposes that God’s prohibitions are motivated by love. That which one should do, and that which one should not do, are not arbitrary decrees of a capricious deity but the salutary instructions of a God who cares deeply for creation.
Our ancestors lived in a world in which self-harm was thought to be pleasing to the gods. In a moment of anguish, when externalizing the pain is so tempting, combining it with that presumption made it likely that they would whip themselves or scour their flesh. In just such times the Torah offers both wisdom and comfort. Do not injure yourself; you are not alone in the world; life will continue despite your loss and there is a God who cares. ■
The writer is Max Webb Senior Rabbi of Sinai Temple in Los Angeles and the author of David the Divided Heart. On Twitter: @rabbiwolpe.